


Letters By My Bed

by MrMistyEyed



Series: Poor Tyjo bean Short Stories [1]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Depression, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hanging, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Promise, STAY ALIVE FRENS, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, its not all sad, pretending to be alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:55:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9291191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMistyEyed/pseuds/MrMistyEyed
Summary: Maybe giving it a week to think about would be good. That way he could evaluate things.Sunday.He'd do it Sunday.





	1. Sundays are my suicide days

Tyler was smacking the brittle leaves off of trees with a large branch. Josh could swear he heard him muttering, “Quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself...” He laughed and made his way over to his friend. Tyler shivered from the fall breeze that blew past and made a mental note of wearing a jacket next time. Josh had taken the precaution and worn a large winter coat and a grey beanie atop his curly blue locks. His mocha eyes trailed down Tyler’s arm and locked on a rubber band secured around his wrist.

“Dude, my sister does that. You gonna put up your hair later?” He joked with a perfectly white toothy grin. Tyler’s doe eyes didn’t meet his though. There was a strange thickness to the silence that followed, which wasn’t common for them. They usually could fill up empty spaces with crazy theories about aliens or talk about cats and Taco Bell. Quiet was never a factor that bothered him, but right then it did. A lot. With his head cocked to the side, some hair fell into Josh’s face and he quickly brushed it away with a breathy huff. “Ty?” He added at last second of his exhale, and for a moment he thought Tyler didn’t hear him. As he went to open his mouth again, Tyler spun around on his heels and gave Josh a cold look.

“That’s not funny,” He scolded simply, sounding more hurt than angry. Although he shouldn’t expect Josh to just automatically know what happened before they had met, he felt like Josh knew better. He knew _Tyler_ better. As if he was asked for a demonstration, Tyler easily slid a finger under the rubber and pulled back, allowing it to shrink back and smack against his skin without flinching. By the look on Josh’s face, Tyler decided he didn’t have to further explain anything. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed and turned back to the task at hand. They were heading to their treehouse.

Josh stalked up behind him like a puppy. Countless apologies and profanities escaped Josh’s lips, but he was ignored, or shrugged off. It was hard to tell.

“Shit, Ty, I’m-I-I didn’t know…” Was the last one he spoke before Tyler groaned and turned to face him again.

“You should know. All the things I tell you, Josh…” With a puff of breath and a pout, “You don’t care enough to realize. I’m messed up, a lot.”

Josh was sure he didn’t let Tyler out of his sight that day. He talked to him all night too. Tyler felt slightly less alone. Slightly less tempted to jump off a bridge. It was nice.

...

It had been a year since Tyler Joseph graduated. Josh and him were fairly close by now. Linked at the hip, more so than probably deemed platonic. But neither of them cared in the slightest. In fact, why not move in together if it would save on money, _and_ they could have a bro’s night every night? That’s what they did. It was nice, quiet too. Without siblings running around and parents yelling. Josh’s hair was red now. Tyler liked that.

They both had girlfriends now. Debby and Jenna were great. They all got along just fine. Tyler certainly hadn’t started dating Jenna out of spite just because he didn’t receive all of Josh’s attention. That would be _wrong._ He loved Jenna. Their life was _perfect._

Maybe he’ll wait a little longer. Sunday, that way he’d have all week to think about it. All week long, he made sure to show affection towards Jenna. He also was extra thoughtful with Josh. He did his chores for him, reminded him how good of a friend he was. Josh was trying to get him to go out and do something. See a movie, eat out at a restaurant, even just walk in the woods like old times. He denied every single time. Tyler thought that he’d be too happy if he did any of those things. It would mess up the solid plan in his head and the countless drafts of letters by his bed.

He read over his notes on Saturday night. It was just filled with pointless ‘ _I love you’s_ that would be gone along with his soul and never cared about again. That was stupid. Who can’t even write a suicide note correctly? He found that to be _pathetic._

“Ty?” He jumped at the greeting, closing his journal and looking up. It was Jenna. He made sure to take in her beauty in case he wouldn’t see her again. Her blonde hair was messy and splayed out over her shoulders, draping around her face like curtains over a work of art. “I’m going home. Love you.” She told him with a toothy grin, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Tyler faintly smiled back.

“I love you too. I’d die for you.”

Jenna rolled her eyes playfully. “Why wouldn’t you live for me?” At first, Tyler’s heart skipped at how she seemed to know, but he deflated when he realized she was saying a line from the movie they just watched. Tyler simply shook his head.

“Goodbye.” There was a reason he didn’t say goodnight. Jenna found it odd, but kept her dime-piece grin and headed out the door. Tyler tore that particular note up and started on a new one.

“Tyler, you’ve been laying in bed _all day!_ Come on a walk with me!” Josh whined, attempting to pull Tyler from his sheets. But he was dead weight, unmotivated and unwilling to even fight back. “We’re worried about you. When was the last time you were outside?”

“Today’s Sunday…” Muttered Tyler. “It’s gonna storm later.” He added to make a bit of sense to his reasoning.

“That’s _later,_ come now!” Josh insisted. “How much later could it possibly be anyway? It’s 7. We go now or we don’t go at all.”

“Josh, I said I don’t want to. I’d rather kill myself.”

But Josh didn’t take that to heart. Tyler was just joking around, he was _tired._ Josh let go of his arm. “We’re going to get you fresh air, buddy.”

Tyler squinted his eyes closed and groaned in protest. “Go away. Leave me alone.”

He insisted more and more. “If you don’t come, I’ll go all by myself and have so much fun.”

“Have a great time.” Was all Tyler said before he receded under the covers, hidden from sight. Josh huffed.

“Fine! You’ll see.” With that, Josh was gone. He went out of the room swiftly and shut the door with a bit too much force that wasn’t necessary. As soon as the quiet flooded his ears and mind, he opened his eyes once again. With a delicate, but shaky touch, he placed a folded paper on his night stand. It shouldn’t matter how it was angled, but Tyler made sure it looked just right. Not too formal. But even Tyler knew that it was impossible to formally angle a paper and that he was just biding time. He just stood there, hands wringing together while he stared off at nothing in particular while thinking. Soon, he closed his eyes and paused his winding hands.

“If there’s a reason I shouldn’t do this, tell me now.”

Josh was outside, parked on the porch with his face in his hands. He was going to teach Tyler his lesson. Soon, he’d be running out apologizing and deciding he needed a walk. He looked up as he watched a familiar car pull up. It was Debby’s. Her and Jenna had decided to have a, ‘girl’s night out’ and they must have stopped by to say hi. The redhead and blonde stepped out of the car and approached Josh. Debby was the first to speak.

“Whatcha doing out here?” He asked with a faint laugh.

“Teaching Tyler a lesson.” He held out his arm as Jenna went to walk passed him. “Don’t you dare go in there. Don’t give in to his stubbornness. She rolled her eyes.

“I just have to use the bathroom. He won’t even know I’m there.” Debby followed after Jenna as well.

“Me too. Won’t make a peep, super swear.” She promised, and Josh let them go with a sigh. Jenna was the first in the bathroom, and Debby waited outside, leaning against the wall.

Tyler had waited for what felt like hours, but he was sure it was no more than thirty seconds. Maybe his heartbeat made it feel longer. Nearly automatically, he pulled open a drawer and retrieved a thick leather belt. He mentally cursed at himself for thinking it through so much, that couldn't be right. But it wouldn’t matter anyway. Painfully slowly, he threaded the buckle over the opposite end and secured it on the coat hook that was screwed into the back of the door. His mouth felt dry. He never had gotten this far. Before he knew it, the leather was secured around his throat and he was thinking his last thoughts. He decided that it would be easiest to kick away the chair on the count of three and just go with it. No use in lingering.

_One…_

_Two…_

_Three._

The chair was kicked.

Debby had been absentmindedly humming to herself, and paused when she heard a loud sound, something being dropped. She remembered she wasn’t supposed to be there and kept quiet. The next thing that she heard caught her attention more. It was a loud cough. It sounded wet, strangled. Like someone was having difficulty gathering air into their lungs. Maybe Tyler was sick? That would explain why he was bedridden. And Josh was trying to get the poor thing to go out. She shook her head and made a mental note of telling Josh to let him relax and get well. But then, she heard something hit the bedroom door, only a few feet away from her. Concerned that he needed assistance, she frowned and knocked on the door.

“Tyler? You okay?” The sounds were right on the other side of the door. She heard sputtering, choking. He was definitely not alright. She gently turned the doorknob and peeked herself in, expecting to see Tyler laying in bed surrounded by tissues and coughing up a storm. But as she opened the door, she realized the bed was empty and the sheets were tousled. She felt weight against the door as she pushed it open more. Slowly, she peered around to the other side and slowly scanned up from Tyler’s flailing legs to his face. She stumbled back and shrieked. “Jenna!” She cried out for help from her friend, grabbing Tyler by his legs in which were involuntarily kicking. His body was instinctively trying to free itself, though his mind didn’t want to. She managed to get struck in the chest and face many times as she desperately tried to lift him. Jenna responded to her name and rushed out in blind panic.

“Debby what’s-” The poor woman was struck with shock as she watched the scene play out before her. Debby was crying and yelling as she was hit, doing her best to lift him up. Jenna soon joined, now screaming for Josh to call the police. The second Tyler was conscious enough to realize what was happening, he thrashed even more. His voice started small, raw and unable to reach much volume. It soon tripled in strength.

“Let me go! Let me go!” He demanded with all he could muster. “I’m _tired_ of breathing! I want to die!” The two girls were finding it nearly impossible to keep a grip on the screaming man with his flails. He was seriously trying to get away from them. Jenna was seeing stars, she couldn’t believe what was happening. Even with their efforts, Tyler soon went limp, and the women were able to detach the makeshift noose from the door and lie his unconscious body down on the floor.

“I told you guys not to-” There Josh was. Late as could be. Jenna was hysterical, crying harder than she ever had. She was pressing on his chest, trying to force him to take in oxygen. Debby had tears streaming down her face and a pleading look while shaking him. Josh called the police.


	2. Guardian Angel

There Tyler lay, right in front of Josh. It was all his fault. He was on the phone with the 911 operator, hyperventilating. He just knew Tyler was dead. Jenna was screaming and shaking him and pounding on his chest, trying to force the life back into him. He couldn’t look, as much as he tried to force himself to help, to do _something_ other than just stand there, he couldn’t. As soon as he saw the raw indent where the belt had been, he had to focus on not vomiting. If he had only listened to him and realized something was wrong. It brought him back to their childhood.

_A young, cotton-candy haired boy knocked on the door to his friend’s house. They had met when Josh was hunting for aliens and stumbled upon Tyler’s treehouse. They’d only known each other for 3 months, and they were already best friends. Kelly Joseph answered the door. “Hi Mrs. Joseph!” 15 year old Josh greeted. “Can Tyler come out?” He cocked his head when he noticed that Tyler’s mother was as pale as a ghost._

_“No,” She said slowly, looking like she was biting back information from rolling off her tongue. She didn’t want to say too much, but at the same time, Josh deserved to know. She sighed. “He hurt himself bad, he’s in bed right now.” She was eager to leave the door and go back to keeping a close eye on her son, but Josh’s eyes were wide like saucers and his mouth was parted, about to ask lots of questions._

_“What happened?! I-I-He said he wouldn’t do that anymore!” Josh threaded his fingers through his pink hair and tugged._

_“You knew?” She asked, exasperated. “But…”_

_“What did he do?” Josh had his brow fringed and looked past her into the house. “He cut himself, right? Oh gosh, let me talk to him…” Kelly blocked him._

_“He thinks he disappointed you. He wants to be alone.” She told him softly. “Please let him have this. He needs to rest and think about things.”_

_“Let me in!”_

“Josh? Josh?! The police are here!” Josh suddenly heard sirens and was snapped out of his flashback. There was a loud knocking on the door. He rushed to the door and opened it. EMT’s rushed in and quickly started taking Tyler’s pulse and pressing on his chest. His eyes snapped open and he gasped for air, violently choking. As soon as that weight was lifted off of Josh’s chest, he bursted into tears. Hands covered his eyes as he sobbed over his friend’s actions. Tyler, sputtering and choking, was laid on a stretcher and pulled out of the house and into an ambulance.

Josh didn’t remember the drive there. Sitting in the waiting room, he felt sticky and numb. The leather of the chair burned his nose with the sterile smell, but the guilt was heavy in his chest and was keeping him cemented in place. Jenna had told Josh that she was planning on breaking up with Tyler that day. She said that she just couldn’t deal with his mood swings and unpredictable slumps. But now she was afraid of how he’d react. She certainly didn’t want to be the cause of his untimely death. Tear-stricken and confused, the blonde left the hospital, and Debby went along to calm her down. Josh was alone, mind reeling in frustration. Tyler and him had been friends since they were kids. He should know by now how he works, he should know the signs and how to take care of him. There were questions raised, and Josh decided it would be best if he answered honestly. So he did.

Tyler has been hooked up to IVs and and was deemed stable physically. He had only become aware of his surroundings moments ago when he realized that the ringing in his ears was actually the heart monitor. He blinked and brought his hands to his eyes to try and rub the burning away. It only took a few moments for his heart to drop as the realization hit him. His gaze lazily trailed down to the tube stuck in his wrist. With a scoff, he tore the thing out without so much as a flinch. He didn’t deserve to be helped when he did this to himself, he thought. As expected, blood trickled down his wrist at a surprising pace and he held it with his opposite hand. “Damn…” He muttered, gritting his teeth. He reached out to a desk right next to him to retrieve a tissue, but his hand paused as he noticed a file with his name sprawled across it. Now forgetting about his wound, he curiously tipped the folder opened and peered inside. ‘Past self-mutilation, erratic/unusual behaviour, emotional withdrawal’ were only a few things written. Josh and Jenna must have answered some questions. He was about to close the file before he saw something circled. His mouth fell open. ‘Perform psych evaluation, pending psychiatric hospital admission.’ He was so shocked, that he didn’t notice he was allowing the blood to drip until the words were stained with it. He was shaking, the heart monitor was beeping incredibly fast. With one swift motion, he detached himself from all of the wires and monitors, making the machine flatline loudly. He knew that sound would cause doctors to rush in, so he panicked.

His eyes darted around, stopping on the window that was across the room. He sprinted to it and slid it open with ease, snaking one lanky leg out to test the stability. Only when he managed to get half his body out did he notice it was higher than expected. With only a moment to think about it, he decided he didn’t care, and either way this turned out would be in his favor. He leapt from the small ledge under the windowsill. He wasn’t afraid in the slightest. In fact, he felt free. Soon, that feeling crashed down along with his body onto the ground. He landed on his hands and knees, quickly willing himself to shakily stand and make a break for it. He had caught the attention of several patients, who were yelling for staff or trying to grab him. He mentally thanked himself for playing basketball when he was younger, as he was able to run very fast, he was gone down the street within a second.

He was headed straight to his safe haven- the woods. As a child, it would help him relax and keep the bad thoughts from his mind. It was a good memory, he needed that. He ran until his knees buckled under him and he was face-down in the dirt. Thankfully, he had made it to his destination. After much deliberation, he sat himself up slowly and brought his knees to his chest. Tears streamed down his flushed cheeks. What was wrong with him?

The moment the doctor approached Josh with a solemn face, he panicked. He stood up and covered his mouth, praying to every God he could think of to let Tyler be alive and well. The doctor had a fringed brow. “Mr. Dun?” She asked softly. He nodded stiffly. “Ah, I’m not sure how to say this, but…” Her mouth lay open for a moment, mostly confused. “The man you brought in is gone. The window was open and there is blood everywhere.” That was not what Josh expected in the slightest.

“Gone? He-he went out the window?” Josh stuttered, mostly to himself to process what he had been told. “Oh gosh…” He stood and headed out of the hospital quickly, still unsure of Tyler’s state. He could already be dead for all he knew. He was determined to try, however. Mama Dun didn’t raise a quitter, oh no. His first thought was to go home to see if he was there. Maybe there would be some indication to where he went. It was the longest drive home he ever had, mostly because of his worry. As soon as he pulled into the driveway, he ran to the door and began scoping the house for any traces of Tyler. He had just got done checking the closet when he noticed a small folded paper on the nightstand. He was very compelled to read it in that moment, so he did. There were several paragraphs, each addressed to a different person.

_Dear Jenna,_

_I’m sorry I couldn’t be better._

_Dear Mom,_

_I’ll remember your hugs, but I want to forget your knowledge. You knew._

_Dear father,_

_I don’t forgive you. Take that to your grave._

One more recipient remained.

_Dear Jishwa,_

_I know what you’re thinking- and it’s not your fault. In fact, if it wasn’t for you, I would be gone a long time ago. You made this life more tolerable, and I think I’ll miss you the most. Don’t forget to eat burritos and hunt aliens, you friken star boy. Love, Tyguy_

Josh was positively heartbroken. He didn’t even register the paper falling from his fingers as the tears returned. He was renewed with vigor, and began searching once again for evidence. He opened up the nightstand, and found Tyler’s quaint little leather notebook and opened it. He would never infringe on his privacy if it weren’t for this exact situation. The first thing he read shook him the hardest.

_Maybe if I write it, I’ll change my mind. I want to die._

It was dated six months ago. Josh flipped the page and continued reading through the depressing poems and several drafts of what appeared to be suicide notes. But he didn’t want to think about that. Soon, he came across a short verse scribbled in without explanation.

_Silent, in the trees._

Josh had a eureka moment. Of _course!_ He knew Tyler had a love for nature. Within that moment, He was in the car and speeding down to the park. He ran unnecessarily fast into the forest, and called out for Tyler. Just as he did so, he could hear faint crying. He carefully followed the sound, and felt his heart race when he spotted the frail man all curled up. He had to be gentle about this.

“Ty…” He hummed, and the mentioned boy turned slightly, sniffling. He then closed his eyes.

“Don’t look at me.” He said sadly, voice cracking. Josh approached and sat next to him.

“Hey, come home. Please.” He asked. Tyler, looking miserable, just pouted and shook his head. Josh gently slid an arm under the younger boy’s knees and and another behind his back, easily lifting him up. They jokingly carried each other all the time, but he truly needed it. Wordlessly, Tyler rested his head on Josh’s shoulder as he was carried to the car. “Want to get some ice cream?”

“It’s negative two degrees.” Tyler said glumly.

“Shush, I’m getting you some.” He let him go into the car and Tyler donned a faint grin. _Maybe he had been too hasty._

“You’re my guardian angel.” He joked. Josh chewed on his lip, in thought.

“Please don’t leave me, Tyler.”

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done! Tell me what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Please express your thoughts and opinions! I'm planning on continuing, but I'd like to hear you guy's thoughts! :)


End file.
